A letter to mommy from Lucia, a young girl brought to the U.S. illegally and sold
Mommy, listen to me. This is a letter for you, Mommy, and for my little sisters.
Mommy, I am going to tell you the story of my life since I crossed the frontier to arrive in the States (the U.S.). When you thought that I was going to work to earn money and escape poverty.
Do you remember, Mommy, when I left the house when I was only 15? I left with a blouse, pants and a pair of sneakers, and no sweater, because you could not buy me one? I took my leave from you as if it was for a short trip. While we said goodbye, I thought why did I have to go so far away from you, from my childhood home, from my family?
In that moment I felt much sadness, much fear, because I was already with strange people. For me, they provoked fear. Every moment that we moved further away caused me more fear and sadness. Mamita, you were so far from me and no one could protect me.
As the days passed, they told me that I had to obey their orders. And the first thing that happened was that the women had to sleep in the same small room as the men. But I was so afraid, Mommy, and I was so far away from you.
Two more weeks had passed when the coyote told us that the women had to attend to the men and serve them their food. In the mountains we slept underneath the bridges.
Then we arrived at a village in Mexico, and they told us we would sleep there. They said that the women would all sleep in one room, and we felt safer. But that night I couldn't sleep because I was missing my mother. A man entered the room and spoke to another girl and told her not to make noise and to leave slowly. She went with him but she never returned to be with us in the room. We continued our journey in train and on bus, now without food and without water. Days passed without food and only a little bit of water. Then we went in a large truck, all as if we were animals. With much heat, we went a long distance. And there they put us in a house without light or electricity.
That night I was so afraid and so sad and on that night the coyote called me. He told me not to make noise or he would leave me there alone and would not take me with the group. I, in fear, obeyed him.
He led me far from the house and told me that I had to please him sexually and if not, he would leave me there, lost and without money, or he would turn me in to Immigration. He said that Immigration (la Migra) would put me in prison and never let me leave, that I would never see my family again.
I was afraid. I didn't want him to leave me alone or in prison. So, I accepted everything that that man wanted of me and so he raped me.
I was just a girl mommy.
Afterwards he told me that if one of the men that went with him also wanted to be with me, that I had to accept. If I thought about complaining or disobeying him, I knew what would happen to me.
That is how I suffered on the journey through Mexico until arriving at the US border. I thought that my suffering would end there, but it wasn't so. There we went into the desert to walk. There they left us with another coyote and told us that we had to obey his orders.
Then they asked us for more money. I had no money. They told the women that if we didn't have money they would leave us in the desert. But then they said that if we did what the men wanted, they would not leave us in the desert.
The women that we came with said no. But they forced us to have sex with them and with any of the other men who traveled with us. I felt so destroyed and lost, Mommy.
Those men were bad. They gave us some pills to make us stronger, that afterwards we got nauseous and couldn't feel what was happening. They gave us the drug so we would be able to walk as fast as the men.
We were three young women. One had a son and she didn't obey the coyote. They left her in the desert with her son, without water and without food. That scared me so much that I wanted to die.
Still we continued with hunger, thirst, and exhaustion from walking. Raped and wounded as if we were animals.
That was the suffering that I experienced in the desert. Doing things because of fear and threats, until we arrived at a village in Florida called Immokalee. There the coyote told me that I had to live with him in his house.
To me and my friend, Ana, the coyote said that we could not tell anyone where we lived and what we saw on the way, because no one would believe us because we didn't have papers. And if we did say something to anyone that he would call the police and they would put us in prison. And that we would never get out of the prison.
He left me in his house with his family and told me to look for work to pay what I owed him. And if not, he would sell me to some men he knew that wanted a woman. That they would pay for me. To my friend he said that she would be his woman and live with him and his wife in one room. All of this, Mamita, when you had already given them everything you had.
This is how I arrived in this county.
I survive, but my soul is in pieces.
I have spoken with other women from Guatemala. And they have suffered like I suffered. We didn't know that we had rights. That in the US the coyote is committing a federal crime and not us. That he would go first to prison. Now we know that if immigration catches you they send you back to your country and not to prison.
Please, Mamita, do not ever let my little sisters make that trip because on the way there is much danger and suffering. There is verbal abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse.
If they do decide to come, well, they should not let the coyotes abuse them. Investigate the coyote before coming. Question how well he has brought people here.
You never knew what happened to us. But now you know. I don't blame you, Mommy, but don't let this happen to my little sisters.
I love you Mamita.
I am your daughter, always, Lucia
Mommy, I am going to tell you the story of my life since I crossed the frontier to arrive in the States (the U.S.). When you thought that I was going to work to earn money and escape poverty.
Do you remember, Mommy, when I left the house when I was only 15? I left with a blouse, pants and a pair of sneakers, and no sweater, because you could not buy me one? I took my leave from you as if it was for a short trip. While we said goodbye, I thought why did I have to go so far away from you, from my childhood home, from my family?
In that moment I felt much sadness, much fear, because I was already with strange people. For me, they provoked fear. Every moment that we moved further away caused me more fear and sadness. Mamita, you were so far from me and no one could protect me.
As the days passed, they told me that I had to obey their orders. And the first thing that happened was that the women had to sleep in the same small room as the men. But I was so afraid, Mommy, and I was so far away from you.
Two more weeks had passed when the coyote told us that the women had to attend to the men and serve them their food. In the mountains we slept underneath the bridges.
Then we arrived at a village in Mexico, and they told us we would sleep there. They said that the women would all sleep in one room, and we felt safer. But that night I couldn't sleep because I was missing my mother. A man entered the room and spoke to another girl and told her not to make noise and to leave slowly. She went with him but she never returned to be with us in the room. We continued our journey in train and on bus, now without food and without water. Days passed without food and only a little bit of water. Then we went in a large truck, all as if we were animals. With much heat, we went a long distance. And there they put us in a house without light or electricity.
That night I was so afraid and so sad and on that night the coyote called me. He told me not to make noise or he would leave me there alone and would not take me with the group. I, in fear, obeyed him.
He led me far from the house and told me that I had to please him sexually and if not, he would leave me there, lost and without money, or he would turn me in to Immigration. He said that Immigration (la Migra) would put me in prison and never let me leave, that I would never see my family again.
I was afraid. I didn't want him to leave me alone or in prison. So, I accepted everything that that man wanted of me and so he raped me.
I was just a girl mommy.
Afterwards he told me that if one of the men that went with him also wanted to be with me, that I had to accept. If I thought about complaining or disobeying him, I knew what would happen to me.
That is how I suffered on the journey through Mexico until arriving at the US border. I thought that my suffering would end there, but it wasn't so. There we went into the desert to walk. There they left us with another coyote and told us that we had to obey his orders.
Then they asked us for more money. I had no money. They told the women that if we didn't have money they would leave us in the desert. But then they said that if we did what the men wanted, they would not leave us in the desert.
The women that we came with said no. But they forced us to have sex with them and with any of the other men who traveled with us. I felt so destroyed and lost, Mommy.
Those men were bad. They gave us some pills to make us stronger, that afterwards we got nauseous and couldn't feel what was happening. They gave us the drug so we would be able to walk as fast as the men.
We were three young women. One had a son and she didn't obey the coyote. They left her in the desert with her son, without water and without food. That scared me so much that I wanted to die.
Still we continued with hunger, thirst, and exhaustion from walking. Raped and wounded as if we were animals.
That was the suffering that I experienced in the desert. Doing things because of fear and threats, until we arrived at a village in Florida called Immokalee. There the coyote told me that I had to live with him in his house.
To me and my friend, Ana, the coyote said that we could not tell anyone where we lived and what we saw on the way, because no one would believe us because we didn't have papers. And if we did say something to anyone that he would call the police and they would put us in prison. And that we would never get out of the prison.
He left me in his house with his family and told me to look for work to pay what I owed him. And if not, he would sell me to some men he knew that wanted a woman. That they would pay for me. To my friend he said that she would be his woman and live with him and his wife in one room. All of this, Mamita, when you had already given them everything you had.
This is how I arrived in this county.
I survive, but my soul is in pieces.
I have spoken with other women from Guatemala. And they have suffered like I suffered. We didn't know that we had rights. That in the US the coyote is committing a federal crime and not us. That he would go first to prison. Now we know that if immigration catches you they send you back to your country and not to prison.
Please, Mamita, do not ever let my little sisters make that trip because on the way there is much danger and suffering. There is verbal abuse, physical abuse and sexual abuse.
If they do decide to come, well, they should not let the coyotes abuse them. Investigate the coyote before coming. Question how well he has brought people here.
You never knew what happened to us. But now you know. I don't blame you, Mommy, but don't let this happen to my little sisters.
I love you Mamita.
I am your daughter, always, Lucia